Anger Management

Couples Counseling

Children & Adolescents

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Marriage Behavior Assessment

Below is a list of behaviors and attitudes that promote a healthy marriage. As you read the list reflect on your behaviors and consider making changes where you think you need to.


  1. I do everything I can to understand my spouses feelings.
  2. I show an interest in hearing my spouse’s opinion.
  3. I let my spouse feel my approval and affection.
  4. When I complain to my spouse I speak politely.
  5. I do things to build my spouse up and make my spouse feel valued.
  6. I avoid making sudden changes without first discussing those changes with my spouse and giving my spouse time to adjust.
  7. I correct my spouse gently and respectfully.
  8. I avoid bringing up past faults when talking about a current complaint.
  9. I respond openly and verbally when my spouse wants to communicate.
  10. I avoid criticizing my spouse in front of the children or other people.
  11. I provide comfort when my spouse is sad or ill.
  12. I make an effort to show an interest in what my spouse feels is important in life.
  13. I avoid being defensives when my spouse expresses needs or feelings.
  14. I give my spouse compliments.
  15. I give my spouse freedom to pursue friendships, hobbies, and activities.
  16. Although we are married I respect that my spouse has needs for personal boundaries.
  17. I am able to let go of the need to “be right.”
  18. In my marriage I accept my mistakes and learn from them.
  19. I am forgiving when my spouse offends me.
  20. I give my spouse tenderness and physical affection.
  21. I take care to have special times alone with my spouse.
  22. I take time to notice what my spouse has done for me and our family.
  23. I share my thoughts and feeling with my spouse.
  24. I show an interest in listening when my spouse wants to talk.
  25. I do things to make my spouse feel like the most important person in the world.
  26. I behave humbly and do everything in my power to get along with my spouse’s relatives.
  27. I escort my spouse on visits to people and places.
  28. I do little things for my spouse, such as an unexpected kiss or coffee in bed.
  29. I regard my spouse as my equal.
  30. I show an interest in understanding and respecting my spouse’s fears.
  31. I give support to my spouse when he/she faces fears and difficult situations.
  32. I am interested in discovering my spouse’s sexual needs.
  33. I am careful not to offend my spouse sexually.
  34. I am interested in making sure my spouse feels secure in our relationship.
  35. I confer with my spouse before making expensive purchases.
  36. Going on dates with my spouse is important to me.
  37. I remember anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.
  38. I share the responsibilities around the house.
  39. I do not speak disrespectfully to my spouse, especially when angry.
  40. I do not try to manipulate my spouse by withdrawing or withholding love.
  41. I call my spouse when I know I am going to be late.


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